Onward and Upward

What are you doing with your life?  What do you want?  Where do you want to be?
Kel, my soul mate, gave me that gut check on December 17.  It had been a rough fall and it was not getting any easier.  I love my job, but why am I staying in Louisville?  If you're not happy with your life then make a change, she told me.  There are so many awesome things going on with our generation in this country-- you need to be a part of them!  It was that day that I decided that I needed to work on being happy... starting with moving on to a new chapter in my life.

Now, two months later, I have found some lost pieces of Becky-ness.  Likewise, I have landed a job in Washington D.C. that will start next summer!  Let me rephrase: I'M MOVING TO WASHINGTON D.C.!!!!!  Not only is this the opportunity to work in a bigger institution with my beloved Emergency Department patients, but I get to live in a vibrant young city with my best friends and be closer to my family.  Win-win-win!

Don't get me wrong, Louisville is a great place for couples or people that grew up there.  It's not so great for a single twenty-something girl with no community and an irregular work schedule.  Washington D.C. is a mecca for yo po's that are ambitious, smart, and fun.  I'll have my oldest friend and college besties at my fingertips and a community of friends that is ready to welcome me to town.

I am very thankful for my time in Lou because this was my catapult into the real world outside of my hometown bubble.  It takes courage and independence to branch out on your own-- something I had never done completely before.  Sure I'm an adventure fanatic, but it takes a different kind of gusto to spread your wings and leave the nest, not knowing whether you will fly or fall.  Lou has shown me that I can fly and that there's a big, wide, beautiful world out there that I want to see more of before settling down.  Though I'm certainly looking forward to being closer to the nest and my mama and papa bird.  I have not "checked out" of Lou yet and am still very invested in my time here.  I just found a Yo Po group through a friend of a friend and I'm hoping for an exciting spring filled with outdoor play, music, and Derby.

Rest assured, I'm not running from problems, but I am setting myself up for a successful career and fulfilling social/family life.  Hindsight is invaluable as it shows me how my journey through life, in its highs and lows, takes me from one step to another.  One phase could not be accomplished without the piece before it.  From sorrow breeds new life and happiness.  Most of all, it shows me that I am capable of making changes that will bring me a better tomorrow.

The elusive trifecta

Thanks to Sesh for inspiring this post.  The sentiment from the article What 20-Something has Their Dream Job and Dream Relationship? comes on the coattails of some conversations I have been having recently:

The grass is always greener on the other side.

Something could always be a little bit better.  Better pay, better hours, a new romance that is texting you through the work day, a posse of buds to join for happy hour.  That's what we all want, right?

My fear is that this sentiment comes from our Millennial Generation (aka "The Lost Generation" as I was informed today) that is entitled to all of the greatest things in life.  Our parents were raised by our grandparents who survived the Great Depression and lived through a World War.  They ingrained our parents with a sense of resourcefulness and gusto.  But our parents' perception of the world likely changed as they saw man land on the moon, Wall Street skyrocket with success, and technology blast us into the twenty-first century (er, never want to be without my smart phone again.  Ever.).  "You can do anything you want," they told us.  The world is your playground, go have fun.

We DESERVE it all we've been told.  The trifecta of a good life.  A great job.  A wonderful relationship.  Friends that make the world go round.  But who really achieves everything they've been searching for?

Our neighbor dropped by the house over Christmas to gift some sugary delights and sat to talk for a while.  His children, both over thirty, are not married, not engaged, without children, gainfully employed, and searching for what will make them happiest in life.  Sounds pretty normal for kids in my hometown.  He said, and his thoughts were echoed by my parents, that our generation is DIFFERENT.  We don't seem to SETTLE.  Hooray for us!  But he didn't understand why his children were always searching for the NEXT BIG THING.

Are we always STRIVING?  When you're striving, you might be missing the journey, or what's right under your nose.  When you're striving you are never at peace.  Chasing is exhausting, and eventually you are going to run out of energy.  How horrible would it be to realize that you had been striving for a decade and all of a sudden "the glory days" were behind you.  At the same time, the missing piece is what drives us and keeps us motivated.  It is a billion dollar industry that feeds on the insecurity of the twenty-something.

Enter Audrey.  One of the most adventurous, inspiring twenty-somethings I know.  We caught up over break and discussed our parallel lives (We are both pediatric emergency medicine nurse practitioners with lots of home town love, both trying to make our way in a new city, and both finding ourselves a little lost at times.) and how we each envied aspects of the other's life.  Here was her hope for me:

I am glad that life has brought you heartbreak.  Because it means that you first felt things that you hadn't felt before.  I hope that these experiences bring new colors to your life so that you can see your world through brighter eyes.  Your life is great!  Be selfish.  No one else is going to make you happy-- they can't do that for you because they will inevitably fail.  Look inward for comfort and companionship then move forward in your life.  Keep doing great things and the rest will sort itself out.  

And that's the moral of the article.  "Having it all" is a fantasy concept.  The grass is sometimes greener on the other side for me.  Patience is not my virtue, but I'm starting to see the blues, yellows, and pinks on my side of the pasture.

You mean I have to go to the REAL WORLD now?!

Tomorrow is the big day!