Culture Shock

December 12 was the day I left Tanzania.  I remember looking out the window of the airplane and feeling a strange combination of pride, sorrow, and inspiration as I watched the world beneath me become a part of my past.  Pride that I had embarked on the greatest adventure yet-- all on my own-- and come out alive.  Sorrow that I was leaving a place that I had grown to love and appreciate in its own special way.  Inspiration for the way I wanted to live the life that I had in front of me.

It has been quite a year filled with lots of joy, but some sadness too.  I have embarked on a similar adventure, but this one has no end date when I know I'm going home.  I'm trying to make this my home.  Although I am not speaking Swahili, Kentucky can be just as much of a foreign land as I navigate my way through being a single twenty-something girl and learning how to be a grown up woman.

I could not have predicted the way the past year has gone.  I hope I get to say the same thing come next year. I've done a lot of soul searching recently and the task before me is clear.  So I'm harnessing the person that left for Tanzania not knowing where she was going to sleep that night, but who had faith that everything would turn out alright.  I have no idea what's coming, but I know it's going to turn out alright.

Homecoming!

I changed my facebook status yesterday to: "31 hours after leaving my Tanzanian house, I have arrived back at my North Carolina home."

As I left Tanzania, I was left with a mixture of emotions. I was remembering how scared I was when I arrived just 7 short weeks ago and realizing how comfortable I had become. The unknowns had become familiars and I was comfortable taking care of the things that used to scare me.

Saying goodbye to people was difficult. The Tanzanians all wanted to know when I was going to come back. The truth was I didn't know, but I just told them that I had to go home, back to Duke, and finish some work. Then I'd see where I ended up. To the same degree that Tanzanians are so welcoming, they hate to see you go. Stay and have another Tangawizi ginger ale, stay and work with the watoto in the hospital, stay and make Tanzania your home.

The cab ride back to the airport with Bwana Carol traced my steps back over the things that had been so foreign on the day I arrived. He had given me an ndizi that was tiny and yellow and delicious and I recalled that I knew one word in Swahili. Now I could carry on a broken Swahili conversation with him and my belly was full of mango and passionfruit. I looked out the window from the plane as we were taking off and I had a visceral feeling that I cannot explain... maybe it was knowing that I was going to miss Tanzania.

I flew into D.C. and could see the bare trees and snow-topped roofs over the Capital City. My bare toes were met with sideways glances from other bundled travelers as to why I was so inappropriately dressed for the frigid weather. Duh, I just left Africa. I checked my bags and immediately went to my connecting gate... after I ordered a grande Starbuck's coffee. Gosh I am such an American!

I landed at RDU and collected my bags. As I rounded the corner to exit the concourse I could see my Dad. I broke into a run and had one of those great airport moments where you say hello to a loved one in front of complete strangers. It felt good to be home. My Dad was no less than thrilled.

What was the first thing I did when I got back? The answer is obvious. I needed Mexican food. One Armadillo Grill chicken taco and cheese queso later, I went home and tackled my next big craving... a steaming hot shower where I did not have to hold the shower head. Then I turned on my cell phone and started making calls across the country to the people I missed most and was excited to talk to again... I started with Denver.

My room is now a complete mess covered in the regurgitation of my bags. Dad made enchiladas for dinner (by my request. I really missed Mexican food!) and I made it until about 7:45 pm before I crashed into my bed (no mosquito net required!). Today I am off to Duke to tie up some loose ends and I'm very excited to see my professors.

It feels good to be home.

Tutaonana baadaye Tanzania!

See you later Tanzania! I am spending my last day in Tanzania hanging with my TZ BFF, Dana. We have lived it up in town, chilled on the compound, and are headed out again after a splendid African afternoon nap. I am trying to pack my bag and feel like a bit of a stereotype of a female traveler as I sit on top of an overstuffed suitcase, trying helplesses (and hopelessly) to close the bulging zipper. Some rearranging will need to happen.

I leave tomorrow on the 5:15 pm flight out of Kilimanjaro headed for Ethiopia, followed by Rome and DC before arriving at RDU 28 hours later. Hamna shida.

I was told by a professor that after the initial culture shock, the next time I would feel sad would be when I left Tanzania. While I am very excited to go home, there is some truth to that statement and I will surely miss TZ. I have missed so much of the fall that I am unsure of what it will be like to get back to North Carolina-- perhaps another culture shock. I look forward to seeing all of you and I hope that my secret fans (read: school friends, family, friends' parents, etc.) will speak up and leave comments. I have loved all of your encouragement and support!

This will not be the last of local townie's TZ blogposts, but it will be the last from the ground in Africa. Kwaheri Tanzania, hello America!

Cravings

Traveling to Africa comes with a complimentary dose of culture shock that I experienced in my first couple of weeks here. I missed so much about America and had a difficult adjustment to the way things worked here in Tanzania. As I finish up my work and look back on my time here, the shock has subsided and I am realizing that there are aspects of life here that I will miss a lot.

Things I missed about America:
-a hot shower, where I could stand without holding the faucet head
-washing machines, and not having crunchy clothes when they come out of the dryer
-good cheese
-fresh brewed coffee
-reliable internet
-perfume

Things I did not miss about America:
-driving 45 minutes to clinic everyday
-12 hour nightshifts
-18 degree mornings and scraping off my windshield
-high priced everything

Things I will miss about Tanzania:
-the produce!
-the constantly blooming flowers
-greeting everyone in the street
-deep fried everything
-the babies wrapped up in kangas

Things I will not miss about Tanzania:
-dumping out the bucket of leaking toilet water three times a day
-dala dalas
-mosquito nets
-body odor
-power outages every day
-being called 'mzungu'