The misadventures of Becky

Hindsight is 20/20 and in the past several years of my life, I can look back at seemingly "failed" endeavors with great appreciation since my life took a turn for the amazing after I picked up the broken pieces of my misadventures. These doors were closed, but the windows that were opened instead were glittered with success and happiness.

Staying in Chapel Hill:

When I hastily cut 14 inches of my curly golden locks I was distraught. But my cute little pixie bob gave me new energy and insight to begin as a new life as a Duke nurse and introduced me to a town full of wonderful post-grads. My college scholarship kept me in North Carolina and set me up for 3 years of fantastic friendships and career growth that I would not have otherwise had.

My hair is now at the same length it was when I cut it and I have just celebrated my 3rd friendiversary with Meg. I also recently received a peacemaking phone call that brought closure to everyone.

The economy tanked:

I so badly wanted to be a travel nurse. I thought I wanted to gallivant across the country working whatever odd job I could find. It was the recession that told me that it was not a good time to do that so I decided to go back to graduate school. A year and a half later, I have given my career the boost that I did not think I would get until I was thirty.

International travel:

I wanted to leave Chapel Hill for my residency. Asheville perhaps? I couldn't find anyone to precept me. So why don't you go abroad? That led me to Tanzania and one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

"Passing the smell test":

The job search was not easy. I found myself in Austin, TX interviewing for a job that seemed a little fishy (actually it stunk like a sushi restaurant's trashcan in July). I was ready to accept if they offered me the spot, but strangely enough, they interviewed me without having any open positions... What?!

After meeting one of my Dad's old Carolina professors at his home in Austin during that trip, and then meeting his wife who had a stroke 2 years ago, I realized that I was following something other than my heart. After that job interview was a complete bust, I had to start from scratch because all of my eggs were in that basket. It was the following day that I found the posting for my job in Louisville.

So you see, there were far bigger plans than I had intended. It took a little luck, blind faith, and emotional intelligence to understand that things happen for a reason. I'm incredibly thankful for my "failures" because they have led me to this moment.

into Africa

http://nursing.duke.edu/wysiwyg/downloads/8518_NursingMag_lorezFINAL.pdf

Thought you might like to check out Duke Nursing Magazine's summer issue which features my time in Tanzania and the work that DUSON is accomplishing on behalf of our school.

Skip to page 10 and stay until page 15 for my story, fellow DUSON students, and my final reflections on life in Tanzania. (Also a big shoutout to Anne Derouin who is featured as a new faculty member! Yay!)

Addendum: How to be alone

On living alone

I'm a big girl now. I get up for work by myself. I get ready and eat my breakfast at the kitchen table while reading whatever article or study section then head for work. When I get home I shower/change into clean clothes and make something to eat. It's a rarity that I make a fancy meal because, hey, it's just me and I'm not trying to impress me. I do whatever reading I need to get done then watch a bit of hulu or skype or chat with friends/family who I wish were closer. I climb into bed and turn off the light while the hum of my fan puts me to sleep.

I'm not a person who typically seeks solitude. Some people need that "alone time", but I have never really been one of those people. I'm not one of those people that talks to themselves to break the silence. I seek company, friendship, and sharing. So getting used to living alone has been an adjustment.

... But for now I think I'm doing a good job. In some ways I'm better at taking care of myself. I started flossing (which I have never done with any regularity) and feel like my dental hygiene is really exceptional. Haha! Sometimes I'll even paint my fingernails! I'm still running several times a week and eating well. I've got house projects that I'm working on and there is still a lot of studying to do every day.

And there are ways that I break up the silence. I have my old Carolina laptop set up in the kitchen to play music while I'm domesticating. I skype with my family and friends a couple of times a week. And since the grocery/drug store is only 1/4 mile from my house, I will only walk/bike to the store (which means I have to go more often but enjoy the trip a couple of times a week). I can get caught up in the trap of being stuck inside myself and I have to kick myself in the tail and push myself out the door. When I do I'm always pleasantly surprised at finding something new in the quaint little neighborhood that I live in (like a climbing partner at the local outdoor shop!).

I'm looking for any and all advice on how to stay well-rounded as a single girl in a new town living alone. When I look back on times of my life when I was alone, I reflect on those times as my strongest, most independent moments and realize the character growth that I underwent as a result of those challenges. I know that it may take upwards of a year to feel like I've got a place in this town and to feel like I really fit in, but I know it will come because I'm not the kind of girl who will sit back and watch the world pass her by... I'm a carpe diem kinda girl.

Overdue update

I'm sure that those of you who read my post about my first day of work are eagerly anticipating the ending to the story and wondering how the move has turned out. Take it that no news is good news. (And let's never speak of the key fiasco again)...

The house: I am all moved in! Dad came up last weekend with the rest of my stuff, I bought a kitchen table on craigslist, and my first big girl piece of furniture... a couch! My little place now feels much homier and really takes on my personality now that I've got my things scattered about. There are a few projects left that I'm waiting for Katherine to come help me tackle, but overall I'm ready for company! By my calculations I can comfortably add 5 guests... just call 15 min before you get here!

The friends: Strangely enough there is a fellow Chapel Hillian that just moved to Louisville last week. We think we played soccer together in 2nd grade and know tons of the same people. Thankfully she's a Carolina girl too. We hit up the Highlands last weekend and have a laundry list of things we want to do together in the coming weeks from the Bourbon Urban Trail to biking the riverfront to the Kentucky State Fair.

The other NP's and people in the Peds Emergency Medicine Dept are awesome. I think you have to have a great personality to work with kids and you've got to be funny and light hearted to work in an ED. I'll fit right in.

The neighborhood: Dad and I ventured out a little bit in my neighborhood, Crescent Hill. He said the second he drove up he could tell that it was my neighborhood by the cute shops, restaurants, and artsy, neighborhood feel of the area. There are a number of nice restaurants right at the end of my street that I'm dying to try: A Mediterranean, sushi bar, some place with white linen tablecloths, and a Mexican joint. Thankfully there's good running nearby too because I'll need to work off all that food!

The job: What you've all been dying to hear... So far, yes, the move was worth it :) It was a pretty traumatic first day but the rest of my days have made up for it. My supervising physician is fantastic, as is the rest of the team-- so smart, kind, and a great teacher. I reduced my first elbow today! It is a real challenge to my skills and education, but I'm learning so much and seeing patients with confidence. Thankfully acuity is low in the summer and so there's time to be a learner without packed waiting rooms of wheezing babies. The nurses are great and everyone has been really welcoming. My schedule is so much better than as a nurse-- I work four 8.5 hour shifts per week. During my orientation I'm precepting with the attendings who I can ask questions and present with my patients, but at the end (after my credentialing is complete) I'll be working with the NP's more. I am supposed to "cherry pick" the patients that come in based on skills that I need to master: lumbar punctures, long bone fractures, foreign body removal, suturing, splinting, etc. And being in a teaching hospital is wonderful because there is always time for education. I've grown accustomed to the teaching hospital atmosphere (from UNC to Dartmouth to Duke) so it was something I was hoping for but not something I was sure I'd find. Maybe one day I'll have some grasshoppers following me around :) That day won't be tomorrow.

I used to think I was hard core when I was in the PICU... then I went to the Emergency Dept and realized that wayyy more crazy stuff happens down there. And you honestly can't make up the stories of what walks through the door.

Missing home: Getting to sneak home last week was something that I desperately needed. It is a difficult transition to make from lifelong townie to KY transplant and I needed that dose of tar heel to get me through and show me that home is a quick trip away. Having Daddy last weekend was wonderful too because it made me proud to serve him after my year-long stent rocking out with the 'rents. You are all invited. Karibu!

Always on my own schedule

I didn't post last Sunday on Father's Day because I was busy hanging out with my Dad.

Some people give a tie, some people give a nice phone call. Not me, I had my Dad moving furniture and hanging paintings. I have the most special, unique relationship with my Daddy--I'm not even going to try to explain it here because I know he'll read this and know exactly what I mean.

And although we celebrated Father's Day later that evening over beers and wings, and I know that we'll celebrate it at some point again this year (because that's how we do holidays in my family), I know that he got great joy out of being able to help me get on my feet in Louisville by helping me move.

I love you Daddy, want to have coffee later this week?

Tuition in the School of Life

I could not be more thrilled that my life has settled down after my first day at work. I could not imagine a worse way to start out my work life in Louisville. There's definitely a story...

I came home last weekend and had a wonderful reunion with my family and got to rock out at the greatest kickball tournament ever. It was a great weekend. My flight landed in the Ville an hour late and when I reached into my purse... I immediately called my Dad:

"Dad, this is kind of an emergency. I need you to go downstairs and look on the coffee table and see if my keys are there."

"Yup, they're here."

"[Explicative]"

The next 12 hours of my life we arguably some of the roughest and most logistically complicated of my recent past (even Tanzania was easier than this!). Here's the sequence of events:

11:15pm- realize my keys are gone on the airplane, lots of frantic, worried phone calls with my Dad.

11:30pm- take a cab to a crummy airport motel where I would never want to go again

12:15am- in the motel room, take off my kickball outfit which I wore straight to the airport

12:45am- bed (kind of)

5:00am- wake up alarm for my first day

5:45am- cab back to the airport

6:00am- rent a car

6:45am- go to Wal Mart and buy a new outfit for my first day of work

8:00am- coffee, strong coffee

8:30am- begin first day of work with people who are building their first impression of me. I legitimately looked nice and presentable and my perk was only slightly off-kilter. Lots of continued frantic phone calls between me, my dad, my landlord, etc.

4:30pm- get the maintenance man to let me into my house

6:00am this morning- keys arrive via FedEx on my doorstep

8:00am- return rental car

8:30am- get Stella out of the parking garage and all is well again. Off to my second day of work...

My Dad likes to call situations like this "tuition in the School of Life" because crummy things like this happen to all of us and there's nothing you can really do to prevent them. They are costly, unpredictable, and unpreventable. Sometimes you learn a life lesson, sometimes you're just frustrated at all of the inconvenience. It was an unfortunate mistake (like many others I have had in the School of Life), but being home made all the difference to me. I think I got a last little bit of lovin' that I needed to be able to come up here and start my life (it should last me a week or so haha).

Dad was joking that this was a bit like those MasterCard priceless commercials. I laughed and told him that I could easily put a price on not having to go through that fiasco again. But I did love the North Carolina love ;)

You can take the girl out of Carolina

But you can never take the Carolina out of the girl

This week was one of the hardest weeks of my life. I don't think most people understand what it was like for me to leave Chapel Hill. So much of who I am and my identity is based on this place. I heard lots of, "Finally, it's about time you left," and that honestly upset me. If the people that said that to me had half as much fun as I did, invested even a portion of what I have into their community, and built the relationships that I had with friends and family, they would understand that it's like losing a piece of yourself. I loved my life in Chapel Hill. I was immensely happy, but the job situation for me was better elsewhere and so it was time to go and try something new.

I keep forgetting that I have moved. I left the Target yesterday and was totally confused that I wasn't in Durham. It took a moment to get my bearings and then I drove myself home to a sparsely inhabited apartment. A blowup mattress on the floor is the only furniture I have and the rest of my belongings are scattered among the wreckage of packing materials, eagerly awaiting my Dad's visit in a week.

I go through each day with a vague plan. Yesterday it was go to Target and open a bank account and meet your co-workers (who are great!). Today it was get internet and groceries. Tomorrow I will look for furniture. I have to remind myself that they didn't build Rome in a day because I keep expecting things to be easy and to fall into place. They will, but it will take time.

For right now, I take it one day at a time. I miss my home, but I look forward to phone calls, emails, and eventually visitors. I may be in Kentucky but...

In my mind I'm gone to Carolina.

Garden & Gun

My wonderful Jordan sent me a fantastic housewarming present when I got to Louisville I unwrapped a rather large package full of "essentials" for my life in Kentucky. Included in the box was:

-a handle of bourbon (duh)

-two mason jars (for us to drink the bourbon from...duh)

-a miniature horse statue (now sitting atop my stove)

-play money (to start my gambling addiction with)

-a toy gun (shoot first, ask questions later)

-a twinkie cookbook (because that's the way to a man's heart)

-Garden & Gun magazine (only the classiest publication next to the Daily Tar Heel)

-the sweetest card from a dear friend

We used to make fun of Jordan for reading Garden & Gun magazine, but it's a great gift for someone who is new to a state. It's my training for going from a Carolina girl to a Kentucky girl. This edition was all about BBQ. Here are a few clippings that I snipped from the pages... I may not be able to enjoy all the places in NC anymore, but you should!

Old Hickory Pit Bar-B-Q's chopped mutton sandwich (Owensboro, KY): anoited with vinegar, Worcesteshire sauce, and allspice, a dip that doesn't downplay the meat's pungent gaminess. Mmmm

12 Bones Smokehouse's hogzilla (Asheville, NC): Obama has eaten here! Pliant sausage, thick strips of sugar-cured bacon, shredded pork on a toasted sub roll. Yes sir, Mr. President.

Windy Corner Market (Lexington, KY): Rustic reclaimed siding, floorboards that once fenced a horse farm, and a screened porch overlooking rolling pastures all make a welcoming, unhurried feel.

The Bywater (Asheville, NC): I really want to go here! Feels like an old friend's backyard with a spacious lawn tricked out with patio lights, venues for horseshoes, bocce, croquet, and frisbee golf, and a couple of grills for BYOB (bring your own BBQ). 18 beers on tap from the local microbrews. Caution: Jambands have been known to spontaneously erupt on the premises.

Tar Heel Pride

http://alumni.unc.edu/membership/pride/

I am a Tar Heel.

The end of an era

Today was my last day at work in the PCICU at Duke. The top picture was the first time I ever signed RN after my name and my patient's dad took a picture of it to mark the occasion. You can tell how much time has passed (nearly 3 years!) by how long my hair has gotten since then. I'll be sad to go, but I'm very excited about what lies ahead of me.

Thank you to the staff of the Duke PCICU/PICU for teaching me so much and helping me grow as a nurse and a person. I will take the lessons I learned at Duke with me and put them to good use in my future. I was so lucky to have such a wonderful first job with such great co-workers-- you will be missed!

My happy place

Some people dream of being on a warm, sandy beach. Others envision themselves in a garden of wildflowers or cuddling up in a fluffy bed. Not me-- my happy place is the sound of my feet pounding beneath me, turning the dirt path ahead of me into the miles behind me. The trails are my sanctuary.

The University owns 1,000 acres behind my parents' house that is a part of the Horace Williams Estate, which is dedicated to preserving the natural environment of Chapel Hill. The trail ends in our back yard. I went creek walking with my friends as a child and started running the trails in high school. I know them like the back of my hand and am never, ever bored. I leave the house not knowing which way I will turn that day and am always overjoyed with the feeling of my legs burning, my heart pounding, and the sight of endless nature around every corner.

I've spent countless hours of my life on the trails. It's where I go when I'm happy, sad, indifferent, or anywhere in between. It's where I work out the problems of my life-- I step out the door with the weight of the world on my shoulders and do not return until it has lifted. In the peace and serenity of the trails, everything seems so simple.

The changing seasons are so exciting as spring blooms turn into summer leaves which fade into autumn foliage and fall into winter branches. There are certain smells associated with every season and if I smell them somewhere else, I am automatically transplanted in my mind to the trails. I feel like I'm so far away from everything when I'm back there because it is still so wild. I've seen owls, foxes, beavers, hawks, turtles, bunnies, copperheads, herons, and countless deer.

When there's trash, I pick it up because you don't leave garbage lying around your house. I was sad to see the trail widened and a bridge built. My hope is that it will provide greater access to the trails so that other people will fall in love with it, just as I have, and protect it. The washing machine was removed about four years ago, but the car is still there.

To me, it's more than just woods... It's what makes Chapel Hill the Southern part of Heaven.

Townie Listserv

A couple of years ago, we created a townie listserv as a way for a group of tight friends to keep in touch through the busy week with witty banter and planning for our weekends. I actually think it started when five Carolina grads were lamenting that once we graduated, the listservs that kept us in the loop in college were no longer relevant. So we used our alumni status to create [thetowniecrew] that was dedicated to us sharing our lives and breaking up the boredom of a work week. It turned into an avenue for sharing youtube videos, posting ridiculous links, and deciphering whether the weather forecast would be a damper on our Friday plans.

On more than one occasion, our meeting up served as a catalyst for a night of unparalleled townie love-- starting with a happy hour in one place, moving down the street for dinner somewhere else, and numerous hops from thereafter.

Though we all live very different lives during the week (a teacher, a nurse, banking, PR, politics, and marketing), our listserv keeps us connected and makes sure that we find each other when the grind finally ends on Friday.

#Chapel Hill is still fun