The elusive trifecta

Thanks to Sesh for inspiring this post.  The sentiment from the article What 20-Something has Their Dream Job and Dream Relationship? comes on the coattails of some conversations I have been having recently:

The grass is always greener on the other side.

Something could always be a little bit better.  Better pay, better hours, a new romance that is texting you through the work day, a posse of buds to join for happy hour.  That's what we all want, right?

My fear is that this sentiment comes from our Millennial Generation (aka "The Lost Generation" as I was informed today) that is entitled to all of the greatest things in life.  Our parents were raised by our grandparents who survived the Great Depression and lived through a World War.  They ingrained our parents with a sense of resourcefulness and gusto.  But our parents' perception of the world likely changed as they saw man land on the moon, Wall Street skyrocket with success, and technology blast us into the twenty-first century (er, never want to be without my smart phone again.  Ever.).  "You can do anything you want," they told us.  The world is your playground, go have fun.

We DESERVE it all we've been told.  The trifecta of a good life.  A great job.  A wonderful relationship.  Friends that make the world go round.  But who really achieves everything they've been searching for?

Our neighbor dropped by the house over Christmas to gift some sugary delights and sat to talk for a while.  His children, both over thirty, are not married, not engaged, without children, gainfully employed, and searching for what will make them happiest in life.  Sounds pretty normal for kids in my hometown.  He said, and his thoughts were echoed by my parents, that our generation is DIFFERENT.  We don't seem to SETTLE.  Hooray for us!  But he didn't understand why his children were always searching for the NEXT BIG THING.

Are we always STRIVING?  When you're striving, you might be missing the journey, or what's right under your nose.  When you're striving you are never at peace.  Chasing is exhausting, and eventually you are going to run out of energy.  How horrible would it be to realize that you had been striving for a decade and all of a sudden "the glory days" were behind you.  At the same time, the missing piece is what drives us and keeps us motivated.  It is a billion dollar industry that feeds on the insecurity of the twenty-something.

Enter Audrey.  One of the most adventurous, inspiring twenty-somethings I know.  We caught up over break and discussed our parallel lives (We are both pediatric emergency medicine nurse practitioners with lots of home town love, both trying to make our way in a new city, and both finding ourselves a little lost at times.) and how we each envied aspects of the other's life.  Here was her hope for me:

I am glad that life has brought you heartbreak.  Because it means that you first felt things that you hadn't felt before.  I hope that these experiences bring new colors to your life so that you can see your world through brighter eyes.  Your life is great!  Be selfish.  No one else is going to make you happy-- they can't do that for you because they will inevitably fail.  Look inward for comfort and companionship then move forward in your life.  Keep doing great things and the rest will sort itself out.  

And that's the moral of the article.  "Having it all" is a fantasy concept.  The grass is sometimes greener on the other side for me.  Patience is not my virtue, but I'm starting to see the blues, yellows, and pinks on my side of the pasture.